1982
The Year It ALL Went Wrong
The terrible situation we find ourselves in today can be traced back to 1982.
In April of that year, Laurie Anderson released the album Big Science, the first track of which was “From the Air”, a piece that has Laurie speaking as an all-to-calm, “Simon Says” captain of a multi-metaphorical, crashing airplane.
In June of that same year, principal photography began on the film Airplane II: The Sequel which was ultimately released on the 10th of December, 1982…shockingly…tragically…without a cameo by Laurie Anderson.
DISASTER!
One must assume that had Jim Abrahams and the Zucker Brothers been involved in the sequel, this oversight would have been caught and the situation in which we find ourselves today averted.
Police Squad! was pretty good, but not worth the global downward spiral resulting from the Laurie-Anderson-less sequel to Airplane!
Is it too late for Airplane III?
The answer, obviously, is a resounding, “NO!”
Did you not notice that I formatted Airplane III in italics? That means its for fucking real, OK?
We can still fix this.
Production begins NOW.
Zero Hour!
This is the time.
And this is the record of the time.